Suffering In Silence
by unnoticedshadow
Summary: When Jake had leukaemia, Neil wasn't the only one suffering with a family member having cancer.  But whilst he had Banksy to talk to, Grace was suffering in silence.  Eventual Neil/Grace.  *EPILOGUE POSTED - NOW COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

Neil frowned as Grace sped out of the office at 5pm sharp for the third time that week. And it was only Wednesday.

He walked over to Terry's desk, knowing that if Grace were to share anything with anybody then it would be Terry. Especially since Neil himself hadn't been particularly available to talk with as of late.

"What's going on with Grace?" he asked. Terry replied,

"I'm not sure. She had a phone call from her mum at the end of last week, and since then she has been leaving at 5pm every day."

Neil nodded, before heading back to his office. He glanced at his watch, then changed his mind, grabbed his coat and headed home. Jake had a night home from hospital tonight before they went to see if he was in remission, and they were planning on staying up watching films and eating junk food.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at the hospital, Grace walked up to the children's cancer ward, where she quickly sat down on a chair sat by a bed, grasping a child's hand tightly. The child smiled lightly at her, before leaning over a plastic bowl to be sick.<p>

"It's okay Annie," she murmured softly, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb, "Your sister's here now."

The little girl looked tiredly over at her, and whispered, "Love you Gracie," before falling asleep, still gripping Grace's hand.

"Love you too Annie," Grace whispered back, trying to hold back the tears, as she traced random patterns with her thumb on the back of the small hand she was holding.

And with that, she did what she had been doing for the last 3 days. She pushed her phone headphones into her ears, set her alarm for 5am, and leant over to fall asleep, resting her arms, which were acting as a pillow for her head, on the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Neil walked in to the office, feeling like a weight had been lifted. He called his team together and told them everything. Jake had leukaemia, but they had just found out that he was in remission. The prognosis was good. He was going to get better.

As he told them this he looked over at Grace, trying to silently apologise for keeping it a secret from her, but he was shocked when he saw the dark shadows under her eyes, eyes that had lost their sparkle. She looked at him with an expression that showed both betrayal, and what looked like envy, but Neil dismissed that straight away. Why would she be envious of him having to go through that?

After his announcement Grace, who was feeling fairly emotional, quietly walked over to Terry and asked if she could talk to him in private. Terry agreed and they went and sat in the briefing room, where he sat down and Grace started pacing up and down as words started flowing out of her mouth.

"Terry," she started, "I have grown to think of you as a brother that I never had, and I really need to confide in you about something, but I need you to swear that you'll keep it to yourself."

Terry nodded, and said, "Is Max pestering you again?" but Grace shook her head, indicating the negative, before she continued.

"I'm not an only child, as everyone assumes. My parents had me when they were fairly young, and seven years ago my mum fell pregnant with my little sister, Anita. She was their miracle baby and she is absolutely beautiful. But two years ago, she was diagnosed with leukaemia. She hasn't ever recovered or gone into remission, it's just gradually got slightly worse. Then at the end of last week I got a phone call from my mum. They'd had to take Annie to hospital because her condition had suddenly deteriorated. She can't leave the hospital, and so every night I am leaving here at 5pm, I sit with her all night whilst my parents get some sleep and then at 5am I go home, have a shower, get changed, and come into work. It's bad Terry," she sobbed, a single solitary tear slowly starting to trickle down her cheek. Terry leant forward and grabbed one of her hands to try and comfort her as she looked at him and said, "I'm just waiting for that call now that says that I need to go and say… say… goodbye."

And with that the tears that had started welling up in her eyes started flowing freely, and Terry pulled her to him in a tight hug. Now he understood why Grace was so upset when Neil told them about his son earlier. A small part of it may have been disappointment and betrayal that he hadn't told her, but it was probably mainly that Neil got to keep his son, whilst her sister was slipping away.

After a few minutes Grace pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"Thanks Terry," she said quietly, "I needed to tell someone."

Terry nodded, "And you know that I'm here for you okay? You can call me any time you want. After all, what are brothers for?"

Grace nodded, closed her eyes briefly to regain her sense of control, and then in a stronger tone of voice said, "Right, back to work then."


	3. Chapter 3

The days continued on as normal, with Grace following her same routine of working until 5pm, sitting with her sister until 5am, and then repeating. She was losing weight, as she was skipping breakfast and her evening meal so that she could spend as much time as possible with Anita. The only reason that she was eating lunch was due to Terry dragging her down to the canteen everyday, and more or less force-feeding her a sandwich and a packet of crisps. If Grace told him that that was the only thing she was eating all day, she was sure that he would make her eat more, but Grace didn't want to spend any more time not working than she had to. If she could get absorbed in her job then she didn't have to think about what was going on outside of work.

Anita continued to deteriorate, and three days ago, during her lunch break, Grace and her parents all sat together to explain to Anita what was going to happen.

"_Hey Annie," Grace whispered as she pulled up a chair next to her parents._

"_Hey Gracie," Anita replied. She had called her older sister Gracie ever since she first learnt to talk, and although it annoyed her at first, now Grace wouldn't have it any other way._

"_Sweetie," Grace's father, Simon began, "We need to talk to you like an adult, okay?"_

_Anita nodded, knowing it had to be serious, as the last time they spoke to her like an adult was when they told her that she would have to stay in hospital for a bit. She didn't like hospitals, they had a strange smell, and people always seemed to be crying. Her sister didn't cry here. Gracie never cried._

"_Now you know how you are very ill at the moment?" continued her mum, Rani, "Well, the doctors say that you are going to stay like that, because they don't know how to make you better."_

"_But the doctors don't need to make me better," Anita said adamantly, "Gracie will make me better. Gracie makes everything better."_

_Grace hiccupped quietly, successfully suppressing the sobs that arose from that statement as Rani gripped Grace's hand in support. Anita put all of her faith in Grace, and Grace couldn't do anything._

"_Anita," Simon continued, "Grace can't make you better this time, I'm afraid."_

_Anita frowned, trying to understand, "So am I going to keep being sick and losing my hair? What happens when I have no hair to lose anymore?"_

_Rani sighed deeply. This was the part that she was dreading._

"_Annie darling," she started, grasping Anita's hand, "Do you remember last year when your Grandma Ally got sick, and she went to live with the angels?"_

_Anita nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, you said that she would have wings and fly above the clouds. She was in… in…" She paused as she tried to remember, frowning slightly in concentration, then looked up and said triumphantly, "You said she was in heaven."_

_Rani nodded. "Yes we did. Well baby, one day we will all be living with Grandma Ally and the angels, but you are going to go a bit sooner than us."_

"_How long will I be going for?" asked Anita innocently, confused when a single tear ran down Simon's face. Her daddy never cried, she thought. Why is he crying?_

_Grace stepped forward, and said, "You are going to be staying there forever Annie. Grandma Ally will look after you, okay?"_

"_Will you visit?"_

_Grace looked away, took a deep breath, and said, "No Annie, I won't be able to visit until I get sick and go to heaven forever as well."_

"_But…" Anita trailed off for a minute, trying to understand, "I'm only six. Mummy and Daddy said I'm not allowed to go out on my own. I'm not allowed to go to heaven on my own, am I? Who will take me?"_

_Grace replied, "You are allowed to go on your own for this once Annie. We will watch you as you start going to heaven, and Grandma Ally will see you when you get there, so you won't be on your… your… own," she finished tearfully._

_But by then Anita started to understand, and started screaming, "No! I don't want to go without you! I want to be with Gracie! I want Gracie to come with me! Please!"_

_As Simon and Rani tried to calm Anita, Grace walked out to the parking lot, surprised to find Terry waiting for her. When she asked him why he was there he said, "When you said what was happening today, I thought you might need a hug afterwards."_

_Grace nodded and moved forward, sobbing into his chest, "She didn't believe us when we said that the doctors couldn't make her better. She said that they wouldn't need to make her better because I would be able to make her better. She puts all of her trust and faith in me and I can't help her."_

_Terry just held her tight whilst she cried. Once the tears had subsided, she thanked him, and then stated, ignoring his protests, that she was going back to work. And with that she got in her car and drove in the direction of Sun Hill._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews I have received so far. Brookii mentioned in her review that it looked like it could be a Terry/Grace fic, but I can assure you that's not the case (and I should know, I'm currently in the process of writing the 26th chapter! lol). I have tried to write their relationship more like brother/sister friendship, and I think I referenced it in one of the previous chapters, but apologies if I didn't make it clear enough. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, on with the fic!**

* * *

><p>Neil watched Grace closely over the next few days, concerned. Grace had got extremely thin and looked about ready to collapse whenever she stood up or moved around. She had also stopped wearing any make up and appeared to be ready to burst into tears at any given moment. But Neil found that hard to believe. Grace was one of the strongest people he knew. She never cried. He did realise one thing though. She was very good at pretending everything was okay, unless you really looked. On the surface, she would still laugh at everyone's jokes. If you looked closely, you could see the smile never reached her eyes. On the surface, she seemed on the ball and awake. If you looked closely, she had bags under her eyes and she would repeatedly suppress yawns. On the surface, she was completely 100 percent focused on any job that she was doing. If you looked closely, she checked her phone for messages every 5-10 minutes, and although she arrived bang on time, she also left at 5pm on the dot every night.<p>

Something is horribly wrong, thought Neil, and he realised that he needed to find out what.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Neil poked his head out of his office, saying,<p>

"Grace, could I just talk to you in here a minute please?"

Grace pushed herself up, and wearily stepped into his office. Once she had entered, Neil closed the door and the blinds, and pushed her down into the seat opposite his desk, before pulling his own chair round to sit next to her.

"What's the matter Grace?" asked Neil, showing his concern as he leant forwards, resting his elbows on his knees.

As Grace paused, Neil quickly said, "I'm not asking you as DI Manson here Grace. I'm just asking you as Neil, your friend. You can trust me Grace. What's wrong?"

Grace was torn. Part of her wanted to tell him everything, get it all off her chest, but another part of her knew that if she told him he would make her take time off work, and, worse than that, might start feeling guilty about the fact that his son was recovering whilst her sister was dy… well, wasn't recovering. So she fell back on her reliable defence mechanism.

"I'm fine Neil, just a bit tired. Time keeps getting away from me and so I'm not sleeping as much as I should be."

It wasn't a complete lie. She is fine when she isn't thinking about what's going on… which is rarely, but that's beside the point. And time is getting away from her whilst she's at the hospital, which means that she isn't sleeping.

_I'm not lying,_ she tried to convince herself, _I'm just skipping parts of the truth._

But Neil wasn't convinced.

"Come on Grace," he sighed, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jake, but I didn't want to burden you with it. Banksy knew part of what I was going through, so he knew all the right things to say when I wanted to hear it."

Grace was tired, which meant that she sometimes spoke without realising what words were leaving her mouth until it was too late. The numerous sleepless nights were catching up with her when she sarcastically snapped at him,

"Oh, I'm sorry, _guv_, that you felt that I would make you feel worse. I'm glad Jake's okay, but just to let you know, sometimes I might have known what you need to hear, but don't worry, I understand. You don't want to have to wait for me to think of something when Banksy had it all stored up in his head ready to spew out at you whenever you needed to hear it. I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment."

Grace stood up to walk out, but Neil slipped his hand into hers, effectively stopping her, and then pulled on her hand slightly, causing her to turn back around.

"I didn't mean it like that Grace," he sighed, watching her as she looked down at their joined hands, absently fiddling with the fingers that were now interlaced with hers. Why did this feel so right?

"I'm sorry. I just wish you'd tell me what's eating you up at the moment. You look like you haven't slept or eaten in weeks. I'm worried about you Gracie."

The endearment just slipped out of his mouth accidentally, as he tried to portray how much he cared about her, but it was enough to pull Grace out of her thoughts, and her hand out of his.

"Please," she begged him, "Please don't call me that."

And with that she fled out of his office and out of the station. As she headed towards St. Hugh's, Neil suddenly thought of something she had said that, in his mind, didn't quite make sense.

"Sometimes I might have known what you needed to hear."


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next week, Neil watched Grace carefully. Her routine seemed set in stone. Start at 9am, work solidly until midday. Allow Terry to drag her off for some food for 40 minutes. Never more, never less. She then worked solidly until 5pm, when she would leave promptly, often without telling anybody. He made a point to call 'Goodnight' to her when she left, just so that she knew that he noticed.

* * *

><p>Grace, meanwhile, was starting to feel more positive. Although she was still waiting for the inevitable, her baby sister was still there for now. And in three days time it would be her seventh birthday. A birthday that they never thought that she would get to celebrate. That day Grace's gift for her sister had arrived. It was a custom made 6x4 wooden photo frame, painted royal blue, with small models of fish and dolphins in the bottom two corners, with the words, "Lots of love, Gracie" carved across the bottom in delicate calligraphy. Grace had put in it a photo of the two of them at Anita's fourth birthday party, just before she was diagnosed with leukaemia. Anita was sitting on Grace's knee, dark hair tied into two bunches sat high on her head, cake smeared around her mouth, which was turned up into a wide smile, her brown eyes glittering with joy. Grace had her chin resting on Anita's left shoulder, also grinning widely. They were both wearing party hats and Grace had her arms wrapped tightly around Anita's middle, both protecting her form falling off her knee, and holding her in a tight, loving hug.<p>

Grace felt a tear drip down her cheek as she looked at the photo, before smiling sadly and wrapping it up in pink flowery wrapping paper. She knew Anita would love it. She was storing it in her desk at work, as she never really went home anymore.

But now was the slightly difficult part. She needed to try and get the day off for Anita's birthday, without DI Manson finding out why. She thought it through in her mind for a few minutes before turning towards his office, and tapping on the open door lightly.

Neil looked up at the sound of the gentle knocking, and smiled gently at Grace as he beckoned her in.

"How can I help you Grace?" he asked.

Grace paused, before breathing in deeply.

"I was wondering sir, if it's okay, if I could take the day off in three days time, on the 15th October."

Neil walked back round to his desk to pick up the staff rota, saying, "It's very short notice Grace. It should be okay, but I could have done with knowing a little sooner."

Grace nodded, "I know sir, but I, well, I, um, I didn't know if I would need to take it off or not. If things, well, change, I might not need it, but for now it looks like I might."

Neil frowned slightly, trying to make sense of what she had just said, but Grace misread it, saying "I'm sorry guv, I know it's short notice, if it isn't possible then I'll come in, I'll just try and arrange it for later on, when I normally, erm, yeah."

She trailed off and Neil quickly interrupted, saying,

"It isn't that at all, I was just trying to work out what you were saying. You know, you're very good at saying a lot and not much at all at the same time, whilst somehow managing to confuse me along the way. Of course you can have the day off, it's fine."

Grace smiled slightly, a smile, which, once again Neil realised, didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thank you sir," she said quietly, and turned around to go back to her desk.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know it's a short one today but this is just how it felt best. Please review, it's my 19th birthday today - just think of it as a birthday present! :D**

* * *

><p>Two days later, tragedy struck.<p>

It was 4pm, and Grace was working on some paperwork from a case that they had just solved. Terry was sat reading through some witness statements, Max was searching a name through the computer, Banksy was reading the newspaper, and Mickey and Stevie were playing a game of catch with a tennis ball that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Neil, meanwhile, was sat in his office with a mountain of paperwork that had to be completed, so he was fully focused on the task at hand, not even looking up to check that the detectives outside his office were working.

Then Grace's phone rang. As she reached over to pick it up, her heart sunk as she saw that the caller ID read 'Mum'. _Please, not today, _Grace thought to herself. _It's her birthday tomorrow._ But as she pressed the 'accept call' option, she knew it was coming, and braced herself as her mum's voice came to her down the phone, sounding choked up with tears.

"Grace? It's time."


	7. Chapter 7

Grace slowly hung up the phone, stood up, and turned to exit the office. Then, as a second thought, she turned back and grabbed Anita's present out of her desk draw. She paused, wondering whether or not to tell Neil where she was going, but in the end she decided against it; she really didn't have time to stop and answer questions.

Once she reached the hospital she pulled into the first parking space she could find, and ran inside to where she knew Anita would be, where she had been for the last four weeks. When she reached the bed she immediately pulled up a chair next to her parents. Anita turned to look at her and said,

"Gracie, I don't want to go to heaven yet. I'm seven tomorrow. I want to have my birthday."

"I know sweetheart," Grace replied, "You stay with us for as long as you want. It's up to you when you want to go to heaven."

Anita nodded, and then as Rani changed the subject, the family of four settled into a conversation that covered everything.

Everything except the inevitable.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at 4.50pm, Neil glanced at his watch, realised that Grace would be leaving soon, and looked out into the office. He tried to convince himself that it was to check that everyone was doing what they should be, but really he just wanted to check on Grace. However, he panicked a little bit when he saw her empty chair, and the absence of the long blue coat that somehow always ended up covering his jacket on the coat stand.<p>

He walked out of his office and stood near Grace's desk, asking,

"Does anybody know where DC Dasari is?"

Everybody shook their heads, but Stevie said,

"She got a phone call about an hour ago, then went storming out."

Neil nodded, and turned back into his office, fully intending to call her later. She had the day off tomorrow anyway, so he wanted to check that she was okay. He needed to show her that he was there for her.

However, when he sat down at his desk and picked up his phone, he realised that in the time that he was talking to the rest of his team, he had missed a call from Grace.

Slightly annoyed with himself that he missed the call, he put his phone to his ear to listen to the voicemail she left.

_"Sir, it's Grace. Just to let you know that I don't think that I'll need the day off tomorrow after all. Erm, let's say, erm, circumstances have, erm, changed. I'm going to need to swap it for a day next week if that's okay. I'm sorry to mess you around. See you tomorrow."_

Neil played the message again and was alarmed to hear what sounded like a sob at the end of the message, just before she hung up the phone.


	8. Chapter 8

It was 11:45pm, and Anita was still hanging on. She was tired, but determined to last until her seventh birthday. They had decided that she would open her presents at midnight, and this knowledge was enough to keep the little girl going.

Grace could hardly breathe. Two years ago, when Anita first got diagnosed, everyone had been so hopeful. Numerous doctors said,

"We've caught it early, the prognosis is good."

"The prognosis is good." That's what Neil said when he announced his son was in remission. Jake was one of the lucky ones. Everyday when Grace arrived to see Anita she saw children embracing their parents as they were told that they were in remission. Last week a fifteen year old teenager came in. Her name was Jazzmyn, and she was given the news that after being in remission for ten years, they were now positive that the cancer had gone. She had decided to go in on her own, and her parents had been sat nervously outside, clasping each others hand tightly, waiting. Jazzmyn had flown out of the nurse's office, results clasped tightly in her hand, screaming,

"It's gone! Ten years in remission! I'm all clear!"

Her parents were crying with joy, and her father picked her up and swung her round in the air as some of the nurses and patients started cheering and applauding. Sometimes a bit of good news was all that was needed to inject the patients on the ward with a bit of hope, no matter how hopeless their individual situation was.

But what broke Grace's heart was when she turned back to her sister. As she looked at her she saw that Anita had, in a way, grown up in the last couple of weeks. And it had almost killed her when Anita said clearly,

"I wish that could be me."

* * *

><p>They all sat, glancing up at the ward clock, counting down.<p>

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy Birthday Annie!"

She had done it. Her official birthday wouldn't start until 12:43am, when she was actually born; but this would do just fine.

Her parents handed Anita a present, and when she opened it she clasped it tightly. In her arms was a large brown teddy bear, with deep brown eyes, and her name, 'Anita Rose Dasari' stitched with royal blue thread across its stomach.

Then Grace handed Anita her present. Tears welled up in Anita's eyes as she saw the photo contained inside the wooden frame, traced the design of the frame with her finger, and slowly turned over onto her side and raised her arms for Grace to give her a hug. So Grace slipped into the bed and gathered Anita up in her arms.

Half an hour later, Anita stated quietly,

"I think it's time for me to go to heaven now."

Immediately Rani burst into tears, and Grace, who still had Anita cuddled into her side, pulled her little sister closer to her body and placed a kiss on top of her head, whispering,

"That's okay; you go whenever you're ready."

So they tearfully said their goodbyes, Rani, Simon and Grace all telling Anita how much they loved her, how brave she had been over the last two years, and how proud they were of her.

Anita, after telling her mum and dad that she loved them, turned to Grace and said, "Love you Gracie. I'll say hi to Grandma Ally for you."

And with that, at 12:43am, on the 15th October 2010, exactly seven years after she entered the world, Anita Rose Dasari flew with the angels into heaven.


	9. Chapter 9

Neil knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into CID that morning. He was half an hour early, since he had nothing to do as Jake was now back with his mum. He was expecting the office to be empty. What he wasn't expecting was a sleeping Grace Dasari slumped over her desk. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He knew that if she was still asleep when everybody else came in she would be really embarrassed. Yet as soon as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder she jolted awake and sat up so fast that Neil had to move back slightly to avoid her head colliding with his chin.

But it appeared that Grace sat up too fast for her own head to handle and she groaned as she put a hand to her head and slumped forward again, willing the room to stop spinning in two different directions simultaneously.

"Grace?" Neil started quietly, "Is everything alright?"

But Grace just shook her head slowly, and muttered, "I don't want to talk about it."

Neil knelt down and spun Grace's chair around slowly until she was facing him, and was shocked to see that her eyes was red and swollen, as if she had been crying all night. He placed his right hand over her left, trying to silently show that he would support her, but Grace refused to look at him, instead focusing on a spot just above his left shoulder.

_If I look at him I'll start crying again, _she thought.

So, still looking over his shoulder she said, "In my message I asked if I could swap my day off to another day. It will be in three days time, on the 18th October. Is that okay?"

Neil chuckled gently, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "You like the whole 'short notice' thing, don't you Grace? Don't worry, that will be absolutely fine. Are you sure it won't be cancelled this time?"

"It won't," she replied quietly, her tone of voice signalling the end of the conversation, as did the opening of the door to CID as Terry walked in.

So Neil nodded, and squeezed her hand slightly before releasing it, standing up and turning back to his office, reaching there just in time to see Terry silently place a gentle hand on Grace's shoulder, Grace answering an unspoken question with a quick nod, not looking away from her computer screen.

To anybody not paying attention it looked as if Grace, being ignorant, had completely ignored Terry's gesture. What they wouldn't have seen was how it took all of Grace's self control not to run out of the room screaming to try and release the pain that was inside her.

But Neil couldn't help but feel hurt. What did Terry know that he didn't?

And why did Grace feel that he couldn't be trusted?


	10. Chapter 10

At 7:50pm that day, Neil glanced at his watch, and swore softly to himself when he realised that he would have missed Grace leaving.

_Why did I miss her today of all days? Something has obviously happened, _he thought to himself, and without even glancing up into CID, which he assumed to be empty now, he continued with the paperwork that needed to be completed.

Hours passed, and at 10:30pm Neil had finally finished the paperwork that had been cluttering his desk for the past three weeks. Standing up and closing his eyes in tiredness, he stretched his arms above his head to try and ease the stiffness in his back that had occurred from sitting in the same position for so long. Then he turned to walk out of his office and went to grab his jacket. However he paused when he saw that it was still covered by a long blue coat.

_Maybe she left it behind, _he tried to tell himself, but he knew that wasn't the case, as she was far too organised to do something like that, and sure enough, when he turned around, Grace was still sat at her desk, furiously typing a report on her computer.

_What is she still doing here? She should have left hours ago, _he thought, and he walked over to her.

"Grace? What are you still doing here?" he asked gently.

"Working."

"Yes, I can see that, but shouldn't you have left about five hours ago?"

Grace, who hadn't stopped typing, even when Neil started speaking, faltered for a couple of seconds, before resuming her typing.

"No."

Neil frowned. What was wrong?

"Come on Grace, you must be starving. You look like you haven't eaten properly in weeks. You need to go home."

"I need to finish this."

"So is that your plan? Just to stay here all night? This isn't good for you Grace. You're going to burn out."

Grace shrugged. "Fine. I'll go home after I've finished this report."

Neil rolled his eyes. "No you won't, I know you Grace. Come on, I'm taking you to George's around the corner, and we're going to sit down and have some Fish and Chips. Then you're going to go home and get some sleep, okay?"

Grace nodded, and went to push herself up, but her legs buckled underneath her, due to lack of sleep and weight loss making her weaker, causing her to collapse back into her chair.

Neil stepped forward and helped her stand up.

"Come on Grace, we need to feed you up. You're all skin and bone. If you carry on like this for too much longer then you'll be invisible if you turn sideways!"

This remark managed to draw a small smirk out of Grace, but, once again, it didn't quite reach her eyes. Well, actually, it barely even reached her mouth, but it was a start.

Neil's arm had somehow found it's way around Grace's back, supporting her so that she could walk easily. When he realised, Neil immediately went to move his arm away, but stopped when Grace leant in to him slightly, obviously needing the support.

"Come on Grace," Neil said, "Let's go."

And off they went, Neil hoping that Grace would reveal something to him, but being left disappointed. Grace kept everything inside, and was very good at steering the subject into safer areas for her. But still, it was a nice evening, and it was only as he watched Grace drive off back home afterwards that Neil realised that at one point during that meal, he might have seen a bit of sparkle back in her eyes.

But only very briefly.

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><p><strong>AN: My uni exams start this week so I apologise in advance as I don't know how often I will be able to update. x**


	11. Chapter 11

Three days later and Grace was stood in front of her bedroom mirror, dressed in a black skirt and black vest top, with an orange flower pinned in her hair. Whilst talking with her parents they decided that whilst the congregation should all wear black as a sign of respect, they should each wear or carry one colourful item, which would represent the colour that Anita had brought into their lives in the short time that she was with them.

_Right_, Grace said to herself, _It's time to go._

The service was beautiful. Anita's entire primary school had turned up, and Anita's class, 2YH, and their teacher, Mrs Greenwood, all sang a song to say goodbye. Grace herself had also stepped up to the front to introduce a video.

"Anita died exactly seven years after she was born. She died too young. She had so much of her life left to live. But while we mourn the years that we will have without her, we also need to remember the seven years that we were blessed with her presence and joy. Anita lit up every room she walked into, and made each one of our lives better. I have compiled a video of photos of Annie to celebrate her life, whilst the song mourns her passing. Please remember Anita Rose Dasari, not because of the cancer that eventually beat her, but because she was strong enough to fight it for two years, and brave enough to know when to let go."

She then pressed play, and the screen, which had the words 'Anita Rose Dasari: 15th October 2003 – 15th October 2010 gave way to photos of Annie's life. The following song played in the background:

_Sunny days seem to hurt the most._  
><em>I wear the pain like a heavy coat.<em>  
><em>I feel you everywhere I go.<em>  
><em>I see your smile, I see your face,<em>  
><em>I hear you laughin' in the rain.<em>  
><em>I still can't believe you're gone.<em>

_It ain't fair: you died too young,_  
><em>Like the story that had just begun,<em>  
><em>But death tore the pages all away.<em>  
><em>God knows how I miss you,<em>  
><em>All the hell that I've been through,<em>  
><em>Just knowin' no-one could take your place.<em>  
><em>An' sometimes I wonder,<em>  
><em>Who'd you be today?<em>

_Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?_  
><em>Settle down with a family,<em>  
><em>I wonder what would you name your babies?<em>  
><em>Some days the sky's so blue,<em>  
><em>I feel like I can talk to you,<em>  
><em>An' I know it might sound crazy.<em>

_It ain't fair: you died too young,_  
><em>Like the story that had just begun,<em>  
><em>But death tore the pages all away.<em>  
><em>God knows how I miss you,<em>  
><em>All the hell that I've been through,<em>  
><em>Just knowin' no-one could take your place.<em>  
><em>An' sometimes I wonder,<em>  
><em>Who you'd be today?<em>

_Today, today, today._  
><em>Today, today, today.<em>

_Sunny days seem to hurt the most._  
><em>I wear the pain like a heavy coat.<em>  
><em>The only thing that gives me hope,<em>  
><em>Is I know I'll see you again some day.<em>

_Some day, some day, some day._

At the end of video, the tiny mahogany coffin cocooning Anita from the world was transported to the cemetery, followed by close family. There they watched as she was lowered into the ground, to be forever embraced by the soil.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I don't own the song Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney. Sorry about the lack of updates, I have two more exams in a couple of weeks then I'm all done for three months :) x**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates, but my exams are now finished, and I have finished writing the ending to this fic, so I can just focus on uploading chapters for you now.**

* * *

><p>It was the next day when Grace finally lost it, and spilt the truth to Neil. She was sat in CID, working on a fraud case with Mickey and Max, the rest of CID also sat in the office, when Max made a remark to Grace, but at the end of the sentence, he called her 'Gracie'.<p>

"Please don't call me that," requested Grace tiredly. She really wasn't in the mood to have to deal with Max today.

But Max wouldn't let it go. He wanted to get a reaction out of her, which he did, but he went a bit too far.

"I can call you whatever I like, Gracie," he said, a smirk appearing on his face.

"Don't. You have no right to call me that," Grace stated, starting to feel herself get wound up.

_Calm down Grace, _she told herself, _He's not worth it._

But Max then pushed her over the edge.

"I believe, _Gracie_, that as your _sergeant,_ I can call you whatever I like. There is nothing to stop me giving you a nickname _Gracie_ and if I want to call you that I will. Unless, is that nickname reserved for someone else to use _Gracie_? Is that it? Why don't you introduce me to them, and they can explain why that nickname is reserved for them only. Does that sound fair _Gracie_?"

_SLAP_.

As Grace's right hand made contact with Max's left cheek, shocked gasps were heard throughout my office. One single tear dribbled down from her right eye, and she thought her day couldn't possibly get any worse.

Until she turned around and saw Neil standing just outside his office, watching her angrily.

"DC Dasari, my office. Now."


	13. Chapter 13

Outside Neil's office, everyone in CID was listening to the very loud argument that had commenced between Neil and Grace.

Terry was worried, as they could both get quite a temper, and he didn't want either of them to say something they would later regret.

* * *

><p>Inside the office, Neil was stood behind his desk, looking at Grace with thunder in his eyes. Grace meanwhile was stood with her arms folded and fists clenched, to try and stop her trembling hands.<p>

"What the hell do you think you were doing there Grace? What on earth could Max have done that was so bad that it could justify you hitting him?"

Grace just stood there biting her lip. She knew that if she told him what it was it would sound extremely childish.

But Neil wouldn't take her silence as an acceptable reason. He wanted an answer, and he wanted one now.

"Well DC Dasari? Would you care to explain? Because I have to say that I am intrigued!"

Grace closed her eyes for a moment. She knew she would have to say, and she knew that it would sound childish, but she knew that she had to tell him.

"He called me Gracie," she whispered, her eyes trained on the floor.

Neil threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"He called you Gracie? Are you serious? I don't understand how you can get so upset! It's a nickname! And it isn't even like it's something demeaning, or sexist, or cruel, or even something that people could chuckle about! It's one extra letter added in! Pull yourself together Grace. You've been a mess this last few weeks and so far I have no idea why." He paused, before adding in a cold tone, "Trust me, it can't be as bad as what I've gone through."

But Grace had finally had enough. "Are you sure about that?" she asked scathingly.

"You can't be serious," Neil said angrily, voice rising again as he shook his head in disbelief. "My _son_, my _eleven year old_ _son_ has had leukaemia. He has had to go through months of chemotherapy before we knew that he was in remission. Are you telling me that while I have been going through that you've been going through something worse? Let's see, do you, coincidentally, know someone who, whilst my son has been trying to beat it, has _died_ from leukaemia? No? I didn't think so."

Grace just stared at him in disbelief, before shaking her head, trembling slightly, and walking out of his office, passing Terry who immediately came storming in.

"Do you have any idea how awful it is that you just said that? You need to go after her."

Neil opened his mouth to ask what had been going on, but Terry just shook his head and said, "Go after her. I'm sure you'll find everything out."

Neil nodded and ran after her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry! I know I'm dragging this bit out, which I didn't intend to do, it just ended up writing itself that way! You'll get the big reveal next chapter though I promise!**


	14. Chapter 14

Grace was just pulling out of the car park as Neil got into his car and started to follow her. She drove for ages until Neil saw her pull up outside the cemetery. He frowned as he got out of his car and followed her, a little distance behind so that she wouldn't see him.

Eventually Grace stopped in front of a white marble gravestone and sat down on the soil as she started to talk. Neil stood a little way behind, but could see the inscription clearly in the marble. It nearly made his heart stop as things started to slot into place.

_Anita Rose Dasari_

_15__th__ October 2003 – 15__th__ October 2010_

_Beloved sister and daughter_

_May she always fly with the angels._

Neil closed his eyes as he heard Grace talking. Now it all made sense.

"Your big sister was naughty today Annie. I hit a man that I work with, and that was wrong. You should never hit anybody. Okay? So if anybody annoys you in heaven, don't hit them. But I'm sure Grandma Ally's looking after you. Do you know why I did it though? He called me Gracie. And you're the only person who is allowed to call me that. Just like I'm the only one who calls you Annie. Well, Mummy calls you that sometimes doesn't she? But we both know that the name was my idea. We were quite the double act, weren't we? Gracie and Annie. I miss you so much Annie."

A tear trickled down Grace's cheek, and Neil suddenly felt guilty for listening in. So he stepped forward and cleared his throat quietly to alert her of his presence.

Grace turned to look at him, and stood up.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay."

Grace shook her head and chuckled humourlessly. "No you didn't, you wanted to find out all the facts."

Neil ignored her remark. "I'm sorry Grace, I was out of line earlier. I should have realised that the way you were acting today had something to do with how you've been over the last few weeks."

Grace nodded. "Do you want to know everything?"

Neil moved slightly closer to her until he was standing at her side, arms touching, but only slightly. "Only if you're ready."

"Do you mind if we move somewhere else? I don't feel comfortable talking about it here."

Neil nodded. "There's a café across the road?"

Grace agreed, and five minutes later they were sat across from each other, Neil with a coffee, and Grace with a hot chocolate, her favourite comfort drink, as she started to talk.

"She was diagnosed with leukaemia when she was four and a half. At first the doctors said that the prognosis was good and that they thought that they had caught it early. But no matter how much chemo she had she just kept getting worse. My baby sister was dying right in front of me and there was nothing that I could do. Then about six weeks ago my mum phoned me and told me that Annie had suddenly deteriorated. She was in St Hugh's and she wouldn't be allowed home. We were basically waiting for the day when she would go. About four weeks ago I went to the hospital with mum and dad on my lunch break, and we had to explain to her that she wasn't going to get better, and that she was going to go to heaven. But Annie wouldn't accept it at first. She just kept saying 'Gracie will make me better. Gracie makes everything better'. She put all her faith in me, and I failed her."

Neil moved his chair round and sat next to her, grasping her hand in his, showing his moral support. "You didn't fail her Grace, you did everything you could."

Grace, whose hand was palm down on the table, turned it over underneath Neil's and interlaced her fingers with his, before continuing.

"Anyway, last week, we were getting close to her seventh birthday, and three days before I asked you for the day off so that we could spend it together as a family."

Neil frowned slightly, "But you didn't take the day off."

Grace shook her head. "She died just after midnight. Actually, she died at 12:43am. She died exactly seven years after she was born."

"So why did you come into work?" asked Neil.

"I needed to take my mind off it. I went home, had a shower, got changed, and came in about 2:30am. But I must have fallen asleep. I haven't eaten more than one meal a day, or slept for more than three hours for the last six weeks. I think my body's giving out on me."

"Anyway, yesterday was her funeral," Grace continued, "And then when Max started calling me Gracie today, I just lost it. I was overtired, I was grieving that fact that my little sister had died, and I couldn't take anymore. Anita was the only person who was allowed to call me Gracie. It's what she has called me ever since she was a baby. Not even my parents call me Gracie."

Neil nodded, now understanding, "And Max wouldn't stop calling you that, and it was as if he was rubbing salt in your wounds."

Grace nodded, relieved that he understood her, and Neil tentatively put his arm around her. This small gesture was enough to break the barriers that Grace had been building over the last six weeks, and as the tears started flowing she buried her face in his chest as Neil held her tight, just letting her grieve.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There you go - hope the reveal was okay for you. Just thought I'd update this before I go to bed - I have to be in work for a stocktake tomorrow at 6:30am, so I'm getting an early night! Kill me now! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

About twenty minutes later the tears stopped flowing from Grace's eyes, and she raised her arm up to her face to rub away the tears. Neil, who still had his arms around her, pulled back slightly to look at her, but still kept one arm around her shoulders.

"Okay?" he asked gently, and Grace nodded slowly.

"I know it seems really hypocritical that I didn't tell you about Annie and then got angry that you didn't tell me about Jake, but I didn't want you to feel guilty that Jake was getting better. You were so happy that he was in remission, as you should be. You are really lucky, and I didn't want you to start feeling bad about Jake getting better, or feeling like you couldn't talk about it just because of me. I'm sorry Neil."

Neil nodded, and replied, "Don't worry Grace, I understand. Now, you look absolutely shattered. Why don't I give you a lift home, and then I'll pick you up tomorrow a bit earlier so that we can come and get your car?"

But Grace shook her head, saying, "Thanks Neil, but I want to go and say goodbye to Annie. You go home, I'll see you tomorrow."

Neil nodded, and as they both stood up, he hesitantly pulled her into a gentle embrace. Grace's arms wound around his waist and her head rested on his chest. After a few seconds they both took a step back, and Neil said softly,

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

Grace waited until he had walked out of the café and then headed back towards the cemetery.

* * *

><p>The next morning Neil was sat in his office when his mobile rang. Glancing at the caller ID he smiled slightly when he saw that it was Grace.<p>

"Manson."

"Neil? It's Grace. I'm sorry, but is it okay if I don't come in today? I'm not feeling 100 percent. I think everything's just catching up with me a bit."

"That's fine Grace, are you okay?"

But as Grace answered the affirmative, Neil heard a voice in the background saying,

"Ms Dasari, I'm going to have to ask you to switch your mobile off. They aren't allowed to be turned on in hospital."

Neil hung up, grabbed his jacket and ran to his car.


	16. Chapter 16

Neil ran up to the front desk of the hospital, demanding to see Grace. The receptionist had nodded and given him directions to the ward she was on, and now Neil was navigating his way through the maze of hospital corridors.

After a few minutes he found the ward that she was on and looked around. Immediately he spotted Grace sat up in bed with her knees drawn up to her chest, wrapped in a thick blanket as she looked down at the bed, lost in her own thoughts.

"Oh Grace," he sighed softly to himself, and he forced himself to calm down before walking over to her bed.

Grace heard him approach and lifted her head up to see who it was. When she saw Neil she leant back and closed her eyes, before opening them and asking,

"How did you know I was here?"

Neil replied, "When you called me I heard the nurse asking you to switch your phone off. What happened? Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"I spent all last night pouring my guts out to you, and I didn't want you to think that I was dependent on you, or that you had to be with me through every little thing that happens to me. I'm a big girl. I can take care of my self."

Neil realised that Grace had dodged answering his first question, and so he asked it again.

"Why are you in here Grace?"

But Grace refused to answer, instead saying,

"I don't want to talk about it. It's stupid. But you can go and ask the doctor if you want. Tell them that I've said that they can tell you."

Neil nodded, "Who's your doctor?"

Grace gave him the name, and Neil headed off searching for him.

After a couple of minutes Neil found Dr Farraday on the opposite side of the ward, signing for some tests to be done.

Neil cleared his throat to get his attention before starting to talk.

"Dr Farraday? I'm Neil Manson, a friend of Grace Dasari's. She said that it's okay for you to tell me what happened, because she doesn't feel up to telling me herself."

Dr Farraday frowned.

"I'm sorry Mr Manson, but I'm afraid that I can't take your word for it that Ms Dasari agreed. Patient confidentiality, you see. We could go over and see Ms Dasari now though if you like, and she can give me her consent."

Neil agreed, so they went over to Grace, who told the doctor that she was happy for Neil to know, and so Neil and Dr Farraday stepped away from Grace's bed.

"So what happened?" asked Neil, slightly impatient and still concerned about Grace.

"Well," began Dr Farraday, "999 received a call about 3:00 this morning, from somebody who had just arrived back from the airport. He had gone to the cemetery to see his wife, when he saw Grace lying down on the grass. At first he thought she had just fallen asleep, but because it was so cold he wanted to double check. But it took too long for her to wake up for his liking and so he called an ambulance. Grace has a mild case of hypothermia, but the fact that she hasn't been eating or sleeping lately has put strain on her body and so she is still fairly weak at the moment."

Neil nodded. _I was with her until 10pm, so that means she was out in the cold for five hours,_ he thought to himself, before asking the doctor,

"Anything else?"

Dr Farraday nodded.

"I am slightly concerned about her psychological well being. I would like our counsellor to come and talk to her."

But Neil shook his head immediately, saying, "She'd never agree to that. Look, she isn't mentally unwell, she's just grieving. Her seven year old sister died from leukaemia last week and she's finding it hard to come to terms with it all, which is understandable."

"Okay," Dr Farraday conceded, "She's okay to be discharged now, but I would prefer it if she didn't stay on her own at the moment. Just until she starts to come to terms with everything."

Neil then said without thinking, "She can stay with me."

He then thought, _Why the hell did I just say that? I'm her boss! She wouldn't want to stay with me! Manson, you idiot!_

But by the time he had finished thinking this Dr Farraday had discharged Grace, but only after saying that she wouldn't be discharged unless she agreed to stay with Neil. Grace had put up a fight at first, but when Dr Farraday threatened her with regular appointments with a counsellor, she reluctantly resigned herself to the fact that she would be living with her boss for the time being.

_This is going to be interesting, _they both thought to themselves.


	17. Chapter 17

Neil unlocked the front door to his house, and held it open for Grace to walk through first. They had stopped at her place first to pick up some clothes and he was carrying a hold all that contained them.

Grace hesitantly stepped over the threshold and paused just inside the doorway. She appeared to be in her own world, not noticing where she was or what was going on.

_This must be her coping mechanism for what has been going on over the last couple of months, _Neil thought, as he gently guided Grace over to the sofa and sat down next to her.

"Grace?" Neil asked, and then paused, waiting for Grace to acknowledge that she had heard him. When she turned her head towards him he continued speaking.

"I'm going to set up the spare room for you, and I'll put your hold all in there as well, then I'll make us some dinner. Is there anything in particular that you'd like?"

Grace just shook her head, still not saying anything, and Neil nodded and placed a gentle reassuring hand on her shoulder as he stood up to sort out her room.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, Neil and Grace were sat in front of the television, each with a bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese and meatballs. Neil ate his fairly quickly, but when he glanced over at Grace once he'd finished, he noticed that she had eaten less than one quarter of her meal, and was now pushing the rest of the food around the edge of the bowl, as if toying with the idea of eating it, but never actually doing it.<p>

Sensing that Neil was looking at her, Grace said quietly,

"I'm sorry sir, I guess I'm just not that hungry. I'm really sorry, you went to all that effort to make it for me. You must think that I'm really ungrateful. I'm sorry."

Neil shuffled over slightly so that he was sat closer to her and said,

"Grace, look at me. Now, I don't think for a minute that you are ungrateful, okay? You've been through a hell of a lot over the last couple of months, and I would be concerned if you did go back to normal straight away. The fact that you tried to eat some of it means to me that you are grateful. But just be honest with me, okay? If you don't want to eat something, or do something, tell me. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do just because you don't want to offend me. You are staying with me so that you can start getting better. I've also booked us both a week off work, so that we can fully focus on helping you recover. We're doing this at your pace, alright?"

Grace nodded, and Neil gave a little smirk before saying,

"Also, we aren't at work, so please don't call me sir. It's just Neil, okay?"

Grace smiled and nodded slightly, and Neil stood up and put on a film for them to watch, before coming to sit back down next to Grace, slightly closer than before, but giving her enough space that she could move away if she wanted to.

But half way through the film, Neil felt a slight pressure against his chest, and when he looked down he saw that Grace had fallen asleep, and then moved in her sleep to lean against Neil, using his chest as a pillow. Neil moved his arm slightly to move her hair out of her face, and she pressed herself tighter into his body.

However, as much as Neil was enjoying having her lying on him, he knew that Grace would wake up with a backache in the morning if she stayed in that position for too long. So he left it for a couple more minutes, just enjoying the feel of her curled up next to him, before whispering her name in her ear to gently wake her up.

As Grace awoke from her slumber she pressed her face into his chest, murmuring something, before realising that she wasn't lying on a pillow, as she had thought, but on Neil. She sat up quickly, her cheeks tinted with pink, showing her embarrassment, but Neil just smiled, and told her not to worry about it, before standing up and showing her to the spare room. He closed the door after himself as he left the room, and went to his room to get some sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Neil woke up to hear a voice in the next room, which was gradually getting louder. Neil was initially confused, before realising that it was Grace, talking in her sleep. He stood up and walked to her room, listening to what she was saying.

"Please Annie, please don't go. I'm sorry I couldn't make you better, I tried. Please don't hate me. I love you Annie, I love you. Please don't hate me. Annie, please come back. Annie? Annie! Annie!"

Grace woke up with a start, just as Neil entered the room. Grace immediately turned her head away, so that he wouldn't see her crying, but Neil moved closer, resting his hand on top of hers.

"It's okay Grace," he said, and Grace shook her head.

"It isn't. Annie wanted me to make her better and I couldn't."

"You tried Grace," Neil replied, "And that's all you can do. I'm sure Anita understood that."

Grace nodded, and said shyly,

"Please can you give me a hug? I'd really like a hug."

When Neil didn't reply immediately, Grace quickly backtracked, saying,

"It's okay; you feel awkward, I don't need one. It's fine, I promise."

But Neil just moved up next to her and sat, leant up against the headboard. He wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace and Grace tucked one arm between their bodies and rested one arm over his stomach, curled up on her side so that her whole body could lean against him.

They sat there in a comfortable silence, until Neil heard Grace's breathing evening out, and when he looked down at her, once again, she had fallen asleep on him. So Neil tried to gently move her down the bed so that she was lying with her head on the pillow, but when he tried to move his arm away, Grace grabbed it tighter in her sleep, whispering,

"Don't leave me Annie."

Neil, who realised that Grace thought that she was holding on to Anita in her dream, lay down on top of the covers, letting Grace grip his hand tightly.

* * *

><p>In the morning, Neil woke up, initially confused as to why he was in the spare room, and why there was someone lying next to him. Then he remembered the events that had happened the previous night, which went someway to explaining why he was positioned the way he was.<p>

At some point during the night Neil had ended up moving underneath the covers, and so now they were both lying on their sides, facing each other, with Grace's face hidden by her hair. Their hands were still joined and their legs were now entangled together. Neil knew that there was no way that he'd be able to move without waking her up, which he didn't want to do, considering how little sleep she'd been having, and so fell asleep again, letting himself enjoy the feeling of having Grace lying next to him.

The next time that Neil woke up he kept his eyes closed, just for a bit longer, but knew that Grace was awake due to the way that she was trying to move her legs gently out of his, without waking him. But Neil wanted to see how she'd react if he pulled her closer, and so, with his eyes still shut, he let go of one of her hands, using his free arm to drape around her waist and pull her flush against his body. To his surprise, Grace used the arm that he'd let go of to hug him back in a fierce embrace.

Waiting a few more minutes, Neil decided that he should probably open his eyes, and when he did, he saw Grace looking nervously up at him.

"I'm sorry Neil, I tried to move when I woke up, but, erm," she trailed off into nothing.

Neil smiled slightly, saying,

"It's okay Grace, there's no harm done," and instead of releasing her, he pulled himself even closer to her. Grace froze for a moment, before relaxing into his embrace.

They lay there for about half an hour in a comfortable silence, until Neil suggested that they got up and had some breakfast. Grace agreed and so they both gently extracted themselves from the embrace.

They ate breakfast together in a slightly uncomfortable silence, Grace eating a slice of toast, before sitting back and quietly saying that she couldn't eat anymore, to which Neil just nodded and smiled gently before moving her plate away.

They then went to get dressed and when Neil walked out he saw Grace fully dressed, sat on the sofa deep in thought.

"Penny for them?" he asked quietly as he sat next to her.

Grace shrugged. "They probably aren't worth that much."

Neil disagreed and said, "Well why don't you explain it to me, and I'll decide that for myself."

Grace paused, before saying; "It's just that I don't understand why you would want to look after me like this. Some of the things I've said to you over the last few weeks in particular have been horrible. I had no right, and yet you've volunteered to look after me. It's not that I'm ungrateful or anything, I just don't understand why you would want to spend anymore time with me than you have to."

Neil paused, thinking about how to best phrase what he wanted to say. Grace, thinking that he was trying to think of the best way to let her down gently, nodded sadly and stood up, saying,

"It's okay, I'll get packed up. I can be out of your hair in a couple of hours."

But Neil stood up, quickly grabbed her hand and turned her back around.

"No, you can't do that," he exclaimed, "I don't want you to leave at all. Definitely not. I'm just trying to think of the best way to make you understand how much I care for you without scaring you off."

Grace frowned. She thought she understood what he was saying, but she didn't want to assume, in case she was wrong. So she asked,

"What do you mean?"

Neil sighed.

"You mean a lot to me Grace," he said, "And it's killing me to see you like this. All I want to do is hold you in my arms and take all your pain away."

Grace blinked.

"Do you mean that?" she asked carefully, almost not daring to believe it. But Neil just nodded and pulled on the hand that he was still holding, pulling her in close as she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"Thank you," she whispered, "And for the record, you mean so much to me you wouldn't believe it."


	19. Chapter 19

Over the next couple of days Neil and Grace grew even closer and Grace was slowly starting to recover, and then one day, they had a breakthrough, with some very pleasing results.

It was in the evening and Neil was cooking them a spaghetti carbonara, whilst Grace sat at the breakfast bar chatting with him. He turned around to respond to something she had said, but forgot about the meal cooking on the hob behind him. It was only when he turned back around a few minutes later he realised that it had all stuck to the side of the pan.

"Oh I don't believe it," he said in disbelief, turning of the stove quickly so it could start cooling down, and when he looked up at Grace he was pleasantly surprised, even if it was at his expense, to see a small smile gracing her face. It wasn't a full blown grin, but it was the happiest that he'd seen her in a long time.

"I hope you aren't finding this funny," Neil warned playfully. "This is your dinner too remember. And look, it's all stuck to the sides!"

To prove his point he turned the pan upside down over his head, not realising that it was only the food that was in contact with the sides of the pan that were stuck; the rest of it was absolutely fine! And so as he tipped the pan upside down he was alarmed to feel a gloopy mess trickling over his head, the strands of spaghetti giving the appearance that he was sporting a new, slightly strange, hairdo.

Neil just stood there in shock for a moment, staring at the now empty pan in his hands, not quite believing what had just happened. Then he heard one of the most beautiful sounds he had heard in a while.

Why was it so beautiful? Because it was so unexpected.

What was it? It was a giggle.

Neil looked up and saw Grace's shoulders shaking as she hid her face behind her hands, trying not to let him see that she was laughing. He raised his eyebrows, which dislodged a piece of spaghetti from his head, causing it to rest against his cheek.

This, in turn, caused Grace to start giggling even more, not even attempting to hide it.

Neil, glad to hear her laughing again, asked, "Do you really find this that funny?" to which Grace just continued laughing, whilst nodding her head, indicating the affirmative.

"Right," started Neil. "Let's see how funny you find it when you've got it all over you, shall we?"

Grace realised what he was going to do three seconds to late, when a handful of spaghetti landed on her head.

Grace immediately stopped laughing and stared at him, open mouthed. Then she smirked slightly, grabbed the now cool saucepan off the stove, retrieved a handful of the cold meal and said, "Right. You asked for it."

A full blown food fight erupted between the two adults in the kitchen, which went on for about thirty five minutes. The only reason it stopped was because they ran out of food, as the spaghetti was now on the walls, floor, Neil's shoulders and in Grace's hair!

They started trying to remove all the strands of spaghetti from their bodies, placing the strands back in the pot. After they had got it all out they went to go and sit down in the living room, when Neil realised Grace still had a short strand of spaghetti in her hair.

He reached out to get it, muttering about the pasta to her, and she turned to face him as he removed it.

As his hands reached her hair, he looked into her eyes, slightly surprised by the intensity of her gaze back at him. Once he had removed the spaghetti and placed it on the table with one hand, instead of pulling his other hand away, he let it trail down the side of her face, while Grace pressed her face slightly against his hand.

His hand stilled as they looked at each other, conversing without the need to talk. Hesitantly Grace brought a shaking hand up to rest on Neil's face, and this was all the encouragement Neil needed. He slowly leant forward, feeling, rather that seeing, Grace move towards him too. Their eyes fluttered shut and their lips slowly touched. And that's all it was. A touch. They could feel each others lips against their own, each others breath on their face, but there was no pressure to create that first kiss, and neither of them felt willing to make that first move. So they remained frozen in that same position for what seemed like about ten minutes, but was probably only a few seconds in reality. Eventually, Neil moved his hand that was still resting on the side of Grace's face round to the back of her neck and moved in that final millimetre, creating the pressure which initiated their first kiss. Neither of them felt the need to go any further, until Grace, this time, made the first move. Tilting her head slightly changed the angle that their lips met, and they both slowly started to move in sync with each other, Neil's hands moving to Grace's back as he pulled her closer, both her arms wrapping round his neck, fingers fiddling with the hair at the base of his neck.

Neil continued pulling Grace closer until she was sat on his lap, his hands now moving underneath Grace's shirt, causing her to moan quietly at the skin to skin contact, and press herself tightly up against him, causing Neil to also moan slightly as he felt himself become aroused.

Realising that he needed to stop before it went to far he removed his hands from underneath her top and pulled back slowly, to look at Grace, who was breathing heavily, skin flushed and lips swollen.

Grace stared back at him, and Neil was concerned to see fear appearing in her eyes, and so tried to comfort her by wrapping his arms around her in a comforting embrace.

But Grace hurriedly pulled away and pushed herself to the opposite end of the sofa, before asking quietly,

"Why did that just happen?"


	20. Chapter 20

Neil looked over at Grace.

"What do you mean?" he asked carefully, not entirely sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

"That shouldn't have happened," Grace said, eyes moving quickly around the room in a panic, looking anywhere but at Neil.

Neil leant forward and grabbed her hands.

"Why not?" he asked, "Because I don't know about you, but I've been wanting to do that for a while."

"But why now?" Grace asked.

"Because you're feeling vulnerable, and not in a great place right now, and I wanted to make you feel better."

Immediately Neil knew that he had said the wrong thing, because Grace stood up and started pacing back and forth across the living room, eyes showing her anger and sadness.

"Feel better?" she spat out incredulously. "You wanted me to _feel better_? I don't believe this. What were you thinking? Oh I'll just give her a kiss while she's upset and isn't strong enough to make up her own mind, take what I want, then hope that she forgets all about it?"

Her eyes softened, and a single tear leaked out and trickled slowly down her right cheek. Neil went to open his mouth, to try and defend his actions, but Grace interjected, her voice low, and laced with pain.

"No Neil, you don't get to say anything. I thought you were better than that."

She ran her hand through her hair and whispered one more parting sentence before shutting herself in the spare room.

"I thought that I meant more to you than that."


	21. Chapter 21

Ten minutes later, and Neil found himself sat on the floor, trying to get the courage to talk through a closed door to a weeping Grace, who hadn't uttered a word since she had shut herself in there.

Neil knew full well that the door wasn't locked, and so he could just walk in there if he wanted to, and as much as he was desperate to do just that, there was a part of him, the part of him that was still hopeful that he could fix this, that wouldn't let him open that door.

_So_, he thought to himself, _maybe it's time to try opening the door with words alone_.

"Grace?" Neil asked quietly, and from inside the room Grace looked up towards the door, eyes puffy, the occasional tear still leaking out.

"Grace, I'm so sorry," he continued, "But I didn't mean for it to come out like that. The truth is that I've been wanting to kiss you, or at least take you out somewhere for a few months now, but I haven't been able to find the courage. Today, it just felt, well, right. I know that it probably wasn't the right decision at all, but I wanted to show you how much you mean to me, how much I care. And yes, I wanted to make you feel better, but that wasn't the sole reason that I did it, today I just found the courage to kiss you, something I have been wanting to do, as I said, for a few months now."

Neil paused, waiting to see what would happen.

Grace slowly stood up, opened the door and sat on the floor next to him, when she tentatively slid her hand into his, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I over-reacted. I've wanted to kiss you for ages too, but I think I just felt guilty that I was feeling happy about something so soon after Annie dying. It feels like I shouldn't be feeling happy yet."

She looked up at him, to gauge his reaction, and Neil leant down and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"You're allowed to feel happy Grace. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but things will get better, and you shouldn't feel guilty that you have something to feel happy about. Okay?"

Grace nodded, and slid her free hand up around the back of his neck, pulling him close for a searing kiss that set all of their senses alight.

Maybe things could be okay after all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have to admit I wasn't completely satisfied with the way I wrote this chapter or the previous one, but no matter how much I edited it, I just couldn't improve it. But hopefully the next chapters will be a bit better!**


	22. Chapter 22

Three weeks later, Grace had moved back to her own home, Neil and Grace had both been back at work for a fortnight, and things seemed to be going well. They'd managed to keep their new relationship under wraps from all their co-workers, until Neil managed to let the cat of the bag.

From the day they had started back they had agreed that nobody should know that they were now together, as they might accuse Neil of favouritism. So they had both been extremely careful not to slip up. But their colleagues weren't idiots, and were beginning to suspect something was going on between them, and this only proved it.

The team were gathered in front of the whiteboard in CID, talking about the latest case. Neil was bringing them up to speed on what everyone had discovered, and was pinning up pieces of paper at the same time. He never meant to say what he said, and really it wasn't that bad, but it was definitely obvious that something was going on.

"And so, at the moment," he said, "Our main suspect is the husband, Michael Hunt. I have a photo of him somewhere…"

As he said this Grace passed him the photo, which was on the table in front of her.

Neil took it off her, mind still on the case, and simply replied,

"Thanks honey."

With that everyone, Grace included, looked up from their notes and stared intently at Neil, who was doing an extremely realistic impersonation of a goldfish. Grace meanwhile, had adopted a very strong blush that had settled on her cheeks, and she stammered that she was going to the toilet, stood up, and walked out extremely quickly, leaving Neil alone to face the wrath of their colleagues.

As they stared at him, silently demanding some sort of explanation, Neil could only come up with one word.

"Ah."

* * *

><p>"Oh my god oh my god oh my god."<p>

Grace continued pacing up and down in the deserted women's toilets, completely oblivious to her good friend Jo Masters, who had come in, leant against the wall, and was now watching Grace; choosing exactly the right time to interrupt. As Grace spun around to continue pacing, and took a breath, ready to launch into her seventh set of "oh my god"s, Jo decided that this was probably the right time.

"So…" she said, getting Grace's attention. "What have I missed?"

Grace hurriedly told her what Neil had called her, but Jo didn't quite get the seriousness of it.

"But, that's good, isn't it?" she asked, "I mean, you've liked him for ages, doesn't this imply that he likes you too?"

Grace paused, then realised that they had been a very well kept secret indeed.

"Jo," she said hesitantly, "We've been together for nearly a month."

Jo's reaction actually brought a tentative smile to Grace's face. Jo was doing an extremely convincing impersonation of Neil's goldfish impression.

"How… I mean… How… You've kept it a secret for a month? How did you do that?"

"Well," Grace said humourlessly, "We didn't go around calling each other 'honey' in front of our colleagues, that's for sure."

Jo chuckled. "Touché. So what are you going to do?"

Grace glanced at her watch. "Well, I only have five minutes until shift ends. I'll hide here, let Neil get interrogated by the guys, and just sneak out without anybody noticing."

Jo nodded, and patted Grace on the arm.

"Don't worry," she said, "It'll all be fine."

And with that she turned around and walked out, amused, and yet slightly annoyed that Grace's shift had nearly finished whilst she still had three hours left!


	23. Chapter 23

Later that evening Grace was sat on her sofa reading a book, when there was a knock at the door. Knowing that there was only one person who it could be, she opened the door straight away and turned around, waiting for Neil to follow her in.

Once they were settled on the sofa, Grace tentatively asked,

"How bad was it?"

Neil chuckled nervously.

"Well," he started, "Max seemed rather too pleased to find out this latest titbit, you may be getting teased by Mickey and Stevie a lot, Banksy didn't say much, and once Terry had done the whole 'big brother' act on me about how he'd come after me if I hurt you, he was okay with it. So all in all, I think it could've been worse. Oh, by the way, thanks for leaving me to face them on my own! Don't think it escaped my notice that you didn't come back at the end of your shift."

Grace just smiled slightly, saying, "Well, you've always been good at answering questions, I didn't want to deny you of the opportunity to do so again."

Neil smiled, and held his arm out to her.

"Come here you," he said, and Grace shuffled up towards him, resting her head on his chest whilst he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, holding her close.

"Are we still okay?" asked Grace quietly.

"Of course we are," Neil replied, "Why wouldn't we be?"

Grace bit her lip, considering the best way to word what she was thinking.

"Well," she started, "It's just that it was important that we didn't bring our relationship to work with us, and now everyone knows, I didn't know whether you would want to end it so that things could go back to normal. Because if we continue a relationship, they're all going to be talking about us behind our backs, and I just thought that… well… I don't know, really. I'm just not sure of the best thing to do."

Neil pulled her closer and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Now," he said, "I want you to listen to me. Now they know that we've been in a relationship, they'll talk about us behind our backs anyway, whether we broke up over this or not. I don't want this to end Grace, I think that we have something really special here and I don't want it to finish. Personally, I think that we should carry on as we have been; not making a big fuss of it at work. But now they know, if the odd thing is accidentally said by, erm, one of us, then it won't matter as much. How does that sound?"

Grace smiled as she looked up at him. "That sounds good to me," she said softly, "But what do you mean 'one of us'? It was you that slipped up, not me."

Neil laughed. "Fair enough," he said, and leant down to give her a kiss, thankful that things were okay.


	24. Chapter 24

Life was pretty uneventful for the next few weeks, but then one day Grace got a phone call that would once again threaten to ruin her life.

She was sat at her desk when her mobile rang. Looking at the caller ID she was fairly surprised to see it was her mum – she very rarely phoned when she knew Grace was on shift. But she picked up the phone, greeting her mother happily.

"Gr-Gr-Grace… Help, please, you have to… to help…"

The smile immediately fell from Grace's face as she stood up, leaving CID and started pacing the corridor.

"Mum? What's happened? Are you okay? Mum? Talk to me please! You're scaring me!"

But there was no answer for a few minutes. Grace carried on calling for her mum until she heard the phone change hands and a male voice spoke down the phone.

"Hello? Who am I speaking with please?"

"This is DC Dasari, Sun Hill Police. What are you doing with my mother's phone?"

The reply caused Grace to collapse to her knees as Stevie was coming up the stairs.

"Grace? It's Smithy here. I'm sorry; your parents have been in a car crash. You need to go to St. Hugh's now. I'm so sorry Grace, but it isn't looking good."

Grace dropped her phone and started sobbing. Stevie ran over to her and held her in her arms.

"What's wrong Grace?"

But Grace just shook her head and gripped on to Stevie tighter, tears pouring out.

"I… I need to go. Hospital," she managed so get out.

"You're in no state to drive like this Grace. Wait here," said Stevie as she ran into CID and burst into Neil's office.

Neil, who was talking to Max, turned around, obviously annoyed at the interruption.

"Not now Stevie," he started, "Can't you see I'm busy? Whatever it is it'll have to wait. And next time when my door is shut, please knock instead of just-"

But Stevie interrupted him.

"Guv, it's important. I need you to come with me now."

"I'm sorry Stevie, I'm busy," he replied. "I don't think Terry's doing anything right now. Can't he help you out?"

"No," she replied forcefully. "It has to be you."

But Neil wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry Stevie, I'm in the middle of something here."

Stevie ran her hand through her hair. She hadn't wanted to say this, especially with Max in the room, but he'd given her no choice.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she snapped angrily, "But I just thought you might need to know that your _girlfriend_ is out in the corridor, sobbing her eyes out. She's just got off the phone with someone and wants to drive herself to the hospital, which she is in no fit state to do. But don't worry, _I'll_ take her if you're so busy."

And with that she stormed out of the office, Neil following briskly behind her.

When Neil reached where Grace and Stevie were, he almost started crying himself at the scene in front of him. Grace was sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, and Stevie was knelt next to her, arms wrapped tightly around her, trying to give Grace a bit of comfort.

Neil walked over and gently put his hand on Stevie's shoulder to alert her of his presence. Stevie looked up at him, nodded and stood up to let him take her place, turning to go back to CID. At first, Grace, who had her eyes closed to try and slow the tears that were relentlessly cascading down her cheeks, tried to grab her, not wanting to be left on her own, but as soon she felt Neil sit down next to her she wrapped her arms tightly around him, sobbing into his chest. Normally, she would be embarrassed that she was being so emotional, especially at work, but at this moment in time she couldn't care less. Smithy's words were just repeating over and over in her head. _"I'm so sorry Grace, but it isn't looking good."_

After a few minutes the tears started slowing, and she finally looked up at Neil and whispered,

"My parents are in a car crash. I have to go to St Hugh's."

Neil nodded and together they stood up to leave, worrying about what might be waiting for them at the hospital.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry! I didn't want to do this to her but my muse gave me no choice! Please don't hate me!**


	25. Chapter 25

Neil and Grace raced to the reception desk, where they gave the names of Grace's parents to the receptionist for her to locate them.

The receptionist directed them to a seat and got up to talk to a doctor, who immediately came over to talk to them. Grace was clutching Neil's hand tightly, and he could feel her trembling as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, holding her close.

"Ms Dasari? I'm Doctor James. Your mother is in surgery at the moment. She has suffered some severe internal injuries, which we are concerned about, as well as sustaining a few broken ribs. We are also worried that one of these ribs may have punctured a lung. I'm afraid it's looking quite bad at the moment."

Grace nodded, and squeezed her eyes shut whilst swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat, before forcing out her question.

"And dad?"

Doctor James sighed and looked down at the floor.

"I'm sorry Ms Dasari, from what I understand the other car hit the drivers side door, where your father was, at a very high speed. He wouldn't have been in any pain."

Grace gasped in disbelief.

"No. No no no no no, you have to have got it wrong. Please, you can't do this to me."

Neil tightened his hold around Grace and pulled her close. Grace tried to resist, hitting his chest with her fists, but Neil just held firm until she ran out of energy and collapsed against him. He couldn't believe the tough time she was having at the moment. First her sister, and now this? Could things get any worse for her?

Unfortunately, this question was very quickly answered when a scrub nurse put her head around the door and shouted,

"Doctor James, you're needed in theatre 2. Mrs Dasari has gone into cardiac arrest."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Will they manage to save her? Or will Grace lose all her family? And on that cliffhanger I regret to inform you that I'm going on holiday tomorrow and so the next time I will be able to update will be the 16th August at the earliest. Please review just to let me know if you're still reading this as I have been down on reviews a bit lately. Thanks x**


	26. Chapter 26

One hour later, Grace collapsed on to her sofa, heartbreaking sobs wracking her frame. Neil brought over a cup of tea, placed it on the coffee table in front of her and held her close, whispering that things will be okay eventually.

"Okay?" Grace asked in disbelief. "Okay? Things will never be okay. You don't get it do you? In the space of a couple of months, my baby sister died from leukaemia and both my parents were killed by some stupid drunk driver, who walked away unscathed. So don't tell me things are going to be okay. If things were going to be okay then none of this would've happened. Or at the very least, they would have saved my mum instead of letting her die on the operating table! So don't tell me things will be okay, because right now I feel like everyone I love has left me, and it's all out of my control."

After her outburst, Grace suddenly went very pale, and ran to the bathroom, regurgitating the contents of her stomach. Neil ran after her, holding her hair away from her face, and stroking her back. When she had finished he gave her a glass of water and led her to her bedroom so she could try and sleep, as the trauma of the day had obviously exhausted her.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Neil, who had found a pillow and duvet set and set up a bed on the sofa, heard shouting from Grace's room, and just like a couple of months ago, as he reached the door to her bedroom, he heard her shouting for the family that had been so cruelly taken from her. But this time he didn't hesitate in comforting her, and so stepped forward and gently called her name to wake her, and gathered her in a strong embrace as soon as her eyes opened and the tears started falling.<p>

"Oh Grace," he whispered as she gripped his t-shirt tightly, "It's going to get better. I know it hurts at the moment but you're strong. You can get through this."

"I just feel so alone right now," Grace replied, completely broken.

Neil kissed her head and pulled her even closer.

"You are not alone Grace," he stated, trying to reassure her, "I am here for you, and I am not going anywhere. I know that you want your family back, but you are never going to lose me." He closed his eyes, feeling himself become emotional.

"You aren't alone sweetheart," he reiterated, "You will always have me."

He felt Grace nod into his chest, before she whispered, "Will you stay in here with me tonight? I need to know you're here."

Neil agreed immediately, and pulled her close. Her head rested on his chest so that she could hear his steady heartbeat, whilst she twisted her legs in between his. Neil grasped one of her hands tightly in his, whilst his other arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly to him.

As Grace slowly drifted off into a fitful slumber, Neil felt his heart break as he thought about the broken woman that was lying in his arms. A broken woman who felt like the world was giving up on her. A broken woman who seemed to be giving up on the world.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've got one more chapter and then it's finished :( But I am thinking of writing an epilogue - what do you guys think? Let me know! :)**


	27. Chapter 27

Over the next few days, Neil had to watch as Grace, who had temporarily moved back in with him until she felt up to returning to work, kept retreating further into herself. She wasn't eating, she wasn't speaking unless necessary, and any sleep was regularly interrupted by nightmares conjured up by the tragedies forced upon her.

Then one day, everything reached breaking point. Neil let himself in after his shift, and heard broken sobs coming from the living room. This wasn't unusual, as Grace was still trying to come to terms with everything. However, what he saw as he entered the living room had never happened before, as the sight that greeted him was a broken woman, eyes clenched shut, body wracking with sobs, sat on the floor with an opened bottle of whisky set beside her and a bottle of pills tipped out on the floor, a few clutched tightly in her fist.

Neil ran over to her and held her face in his hands, as he forced he to look at him.

"Grace? Grace honey? How many have you taken? Please Grace, I need you to tell me."

Grace shook her head.

"None," she whispered, "I couldn't make myself take them. I wanted to. I felt like you were all I have left, and that it's only a matter of time before you were taken away from me too, and I couldn't have coped with that."

"So," Neil asked hesitantly, "What was stopping you?"

Grace closed her eyes to try and compose herself.

"When Annie knew that she wouldn't get better she made a scrapbook with my parents that she wanted to give to me. Mum and Dad gave it to me after her funeral, and on the last page there's a photo of me and her, and underneath she'd written 'Love you Gracie, stay happy' and then drawn a smiley face. If she knew that I was so sad that I was contemplating ending it all, she'd be so upset. I know she was only seven, but the cancer forced her to grow up, and she wanted me to carry on with my life, and I have to honour that wish."

And with that she collapsed into Neil's arms, saying,

"I think I'm going to be okay without them being by my side, and that's scaring me more than anything."

Neil pulled her close, saying,

"I know it's hard, but they are in your heart, so you will never truly be without them. And I will always be with you. Nothing will ever take me away from you."

Grace nodded, looking up at him, and said quietly,

"Thank you. Thank you so much for staying by me through all of this. It means so much to me that you've supported me. I know it might seem a bit soon to say this, but I need you to know that I love you. I couldn't have survived without you, and I need you to know how much you mean to me."

Neil brushed her hair away from her face and leant down to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I love you too," he whispered, "And I will always be here for you, just like I'm sure you will be there for me too when I need support."

And as Neil and Grace sat on the floor, embracing each other tightly, they realised that things were going to get better now.

Because whilst they were together, neither of them would ever have to live through an event by suffering in silence.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, that's the last chapter. I have written an epilogue and I will post it in the next few days, but I would just like to say that I have really enjoyed writing this fic, and thank ou everyone who has read it, and also especially to everyone who has reviewed it. Please let me know what you think of this fic overall and I'll post the epilogue soon. :) x**


	28. Epilogue

_**One year later…**_

"I still find it hard sometimes, you know? Even though it's been over a year now, there are still days when I wake up, and just for a few seconds, I forget. I forget all the pain, all the anguish, all the tears, all the loss. But when I do remember? Well, it doesn't cut so deep anymore. I still miss you all, and sometimes I do find it hard to get up, knowing that my family was taken away from me. But I'm coping better with it now.

And I'm not on my own, not really. Neil has been fantastic. I wish you all had a chance to meet him, I know that you would love him just as much as I do. And even though you won't physically be there on the big days, I have realised now that for as long as I hold you all in my heart, you will be standing there right next to me in spirit. I love you all so much, and I just wish you could meet the family that I have gained over the last year."

Grace stood up slowly, touching each headstone, saying a silent goodbye. Then, as she turned to go, she smiled softly as she felt a fluttering inside of her, and spotted a glint as the light reflected off the ring that Neil had placed on her left hand not five months ago, which was currently placed over her slightly rounded stomach, which was to protect her unborn child for the next six months.

Things were looking up, and as she reached the car, where her fiancé was waiting to wrap her in his arms, she knew that even though she had been through a lot, she had come out the other side, stronger than ever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And that's the end. I know it's short and sweet but I didn't want to waffle on when it felt right the way it was. Thanks again for reading and sticking with me until the end. Much love :) x**


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